The European Extravaganza!

Planes, Trains, Ferries, the Hogwarts Express, and Vomit Buses

Made it to Scotland without a hitch. The ferry coming over was quite cheap, and we got seats by the window this time. Steph amused herself by feeding a small bird that had flown onto the ferry, although members of the staff just saw what looked like a tiny child drinking from a juice box, clutching Harry Potter in one hand, and throwing bread onto the floor...

Once we got off the ferry, we took the train (a good 4 hour trip) to Glasgow Central Station (which is very impressive and pretty), where we then had to transfer to another train station. This little hike through the city will be all that we see of Glasgow, which looked nice enough. Shame that there's absolutely nothing to do there, especially when all the women sounded like Kelly MacDonald AND the boys had good hair. Looks like that Cute Boy Factory might be getting things back in order!

The train ride to Stirling was fairly uneventful although we did have to stand for a while and were not really able to put our packs down as a rude Canadian girl (not Steph) had seated herself onto the luggage storage block and refused to shift herself. Once in Stirling, we had to haul ourselves (nearly on hand and knee again) up a hill that rivalled the one we climbed in Salzburg to get to the Ice Caves. We were temporarily lead astray by the tourist sign (I guess they like to send people round the scenic route), but made it to the hostel unscathed but rosy-cheeked and gasping for breath.

We chatted with yet another Aussie in the hostel before setting out for dinner. We were sharing the dorm with a very frail elderly woman, whom I thought was dead later that night when I woke up and watched her "sleeping" (not in a creepy way!). We stumbled upon one of the best stores ever: Costcutter! Steph bought a massive bar of Cadbury's Fruit & Nut (Steph: Hey! I'm trying to fit back into those jeans!), as well as a bag of crisps enticingly flavoured "Prawn Cocktail" as well as a bag of crisp/crackers that were accurately named "Peking Spare Rib & 5 Spices". The Prawn Cocktail sadly turned out to be "ketchup"... I hope that's not what these Brits are dipping their shrimp in!

Stirling is a pretty dead town, and although we would have liked to check out the castle, we were dissuaded when we save the massive (and therefore extremely loud) group of school children (also staying at our hostel) heading off in that direction. After all, we wouldn't want them to mistake Steph for one of their own...

The next morning, we headed off for Doune, to visit "The Monty Python Castle". We had to first wait around in the bus station for a good hour before finally finding someone who could tell us which bus to get on. Furthermore, it would turn out to be very much an "Amazing Race" day as we were forced to keep our packs with us (looks like we're not going to be able to stow them at train stations any time in the near future) AND we were frequently getting off one mode of transportation in search of another with only minutes to spare. We are both still surprised that we managed to make every single train we had planned on... We were very much expecting that we would have to catch the 18:20 train from Glasgow which wouldn't get us into Fort William until well after 10 pm!

The woman at the gift shop at the castle was very nice as she let us leave our bags with her while we ran about madly clanking coconuts together pretending to be on horseback. It's a good thing we left the bags as we likely would have wedged ourselves in the narrow stairwells (something like Winnie the Pooh with the honey jar on his head!), and we darn well would not have made it down the scary winding staircases in one piece! Our galavanting was all caught on film, live, BUT whether any of you see that film is another story. Then again, all the evidence is on Steph's camera. Moihahaha!

We managed to catch an 11:15 bus back to Stirling, where we arrived just in time to dart over to the rail station and catch the 11:55 train into Glasgow. Once there, we then boarded a 12:40 pm train to Fort William. Finally we got to experience the glory of a train that leaves part of it behind! The train purportedly had the sketchiest bathroom ever (Steph can verify this claim... sadly), and as we neared the end of our journey, the two drunken Scotsmen across the aisle decided to engage Steph in conversation. At one point they asked her if she was a Canadian Indian (Steph: never had that one before!), and I tried to pass by as a pile of coats for as long as possible. When they asked what nationality I was, I pointed at myself all innocently and asked, "Me?" (Steph: I should have loudly proclaimed then and there, "She's no friend of mine!").

The hostel at Fort William was actually very nice, although it also required a horrible hike up a horrible hill. We chatted for a while with a guy from Prague (who was very happy to hear we liked the Czech Republic, and rightfully mocked and laughed at our butchering of their language; we still say the sounds they make don't correspond to the letters written nor do they have nearly enough vowels!). We then popped down to the common area to check out the library selection (Steph was hoping to increase her contraband Harry Potter books she's been thieving from hostels... Poor Arnie in Belfast no longer has a copy of Philosopher's Stone, the FUN edition). We had to leave, however, as there was a complete prat who was talking about how he didn't really like Harry Potter but that book 6 was "surprisingly good". He then dug his grave even deeper by saying that he liked HP because you just "turned your brain off" to read it, and that it was "very much like Dan Brown". AAAAAHHHHH! We wanted to snatch the book out of his hands, belt him over the head with it, and storm out, but we refrained.

Even the roaring fire in the common area wasn't enough to keep the chill away (this is summer, people!), so we headed upstairs where we had the handy "egg carton" foam bedding to help keep us warm.

This morning was the most magical day since July 15/16... for today we boarded the Hogwarts Express... Or the closest we will ever get. We took our ride on the Jacobite Steam Engines from Fort William to Mallaig. The scenery was beautiful, and going over the Glenfinnan viaduct was great (think of the Flying Car scene in COS!). Alas, there were no sweets to buy (from the trolley or the snack cart), so we had to make do with Muggle candy (Steph: Dad, I still have not forgiven you for forbidding me from buying the following items when we were last at Chapters: Ice Mice, Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, Licorice Wands, Chocolate Frogs, and Bertie Bott's Every-Flavoured Beans).

There was really nothing to do in Mallaig but to have lunch, and thankfully for Steph, we found a little place where we had "Fish Tea". This got us bread & butter, tea, AND peas with our fish & chips. The fish was better in Dublin, but the chips were fantastic here (we ended our personal potatoe famine last night at dinner when we had bangers and mash). We also got to witness a french woman mime "pee pee" in order to figure out where the toilets were.

We paid our cheque and made it back to the train with about 1 min to spare; we think that the French groups in the restaurant with us were not so lucky! Once we made it back to FW, we bought some books and then got our bags and headed to the bus station. We figured we would take the bus because it would get us to Inverness in only 2 hours, as opposed to having to ride the rails all night (remember Italy?). Alas, the rails may have been the wiser choice as the Citilink bus was more aptly dubbed "The Vomit Mobile". 4 hours later and we are still queasy! The Belgian (?) girl a few seats up from us actually had her head in a plastic bag for most of the journey. Seriously? The coaches here might be cheap, but you pay in so many other ways.

And on that note, we should probably go and lie down and try and regain our strength. Tomorrow we are off to search for Nessie and a bounty of tacky souvenir treasures. Surely we will be successful on at least one count!

posted by Laura @ 9:59 pm